“Nicholas, are you seriously not
going to shave? Your face is beginning
to look scruffy!”
“Yes dear,”
Nicholas replied while rubbing absently at his hairy chin.
“You’re
impossible,” his wife said, and then she promptly turned away from her husband
and quickly grabbed her holo-tablet.
“I’m calling my mother!”
“Yes dear,”
Nicholas repeated, and then he reached down to dip his paint brush into a can
of fire engine red paint. When he was
satisfied that the bristles were completely soaked he continued painting.
“Hi Mom,”
he heard his wife say. He continued
listening to her as he worked.
“Hi Lisa,
how are you?”
“Mom, my
husband still continues to act crazy.”
“I guess he
still hasn’t given up has he?” Lisa’s
mom asked.
“No, ever
since the beginning of this year he’s been acting more and more bizarre, and
now, to top it off, he’s growing a beard!”
“Oh, well,
he probably looks handsome,” Lisa’s mom said.
“No, no he
doesn’t, and please don’t encourage him.
It’s bad enough that he’s a Junk Trader for the entire Fleet but now
he’s starting to look the part also!”
“Now honey,
you knew he was a Junk Man from the start so I don’t want to hear that.”
“I know
Mom.”
“You’ve
been married ten years so his behavior should be no surprise.”
“I know, I
know,” Lisa said exasperated.
“Well, has
he told you how he plans to carry out his plan?”
“You mean
his plan to attach an enormous junk barge, which he bought at the beginning of
this year, to our only family Space Wagon, and then proceed to attempt to
deliver gifts to all the children of the entire Fleet?”
“Yes,”
Lisa’s mom said, smiling slightly, “that plan.”
“No, he
hasn’t told me that, but I will tell you that he’s painting our Space Wagon red
even as we speak.”
“Red? Why Red?”
“I guess
it’s the same reason why he is growing a beard and has gained about twenty-five
pounds in the last few months!”
“Oh dear.”
“Yes, I
think ‘crazy’ is actually too soft of a word for what is going on here.”
While the
women spoke Nicholas just chuckled softly to himself. He finished painting the last coat on the
Space Wagon and stood back to look at his handiwork.
It was
perfect.
Everything
that his wife and mother-in-law were talking about was true. He had made plans to deliver gifts to all the
children of the fleet. He had also
announced these plans to everyone he encountered and news traveled fast.
What was
also true was that he had spent the better part of the year fashioning together
the gifts from the junk he bought from the space traders. The gifts for the children were all the same;
they were just metal boxes with four wheels attached like a toy car. It was blue cars for the boys and pink cars
for the girls. Nothing special. No, the special part was the other gift he
had in mind.
In the
beginning of the year a space trader by the name of Mel had flown into the
trading port. He had a garbage barge
full of junk that no one wanted. When
Nicholas first saw it he rejected it, but it turned out that Mel was a pretty
good salesman.
Needless to
say, Nicholas ended up with the garbage.
After a few
days of rummaging though the rubbish he came across something in the pile that
was of such value that he couldn’t believe it.
It was that treasure that he was going to share with the Fleet. It was also that treasure that he hadn’t told
anyone about.
“Okay Mom,”
Lisa said, bringing Nicholas out of his reverie. “I guess I’ll have more news after he leaves
tomorrow.”
“He’s doing
all of this tomorrow?”
“Yeah, can
you believe that? When everyone gets a
holiday break my husband decides to take off.”
Lisa’s mom
shook her head, then, after a while, they completed saying their goodbyes.
***
Just after
midnight a distress beacon sounded waking up Private First Class Timothy
Reynolds. He checked the cause of the
beacon and sent word to Fleet Command.
The Fleet Command Sergeant studied the situation and then sent word to
the General.
The General
of Fleet Command was a stern man, but he had a tendency to be somewhat soft in
the middle. This was known to only a few
however.
“What’s the
status?” he asked.
“We have a
distress signal coming from Section 12 Quadrant 25.”
“Did you
say 12 and 25?”
“Yes sir.”
For some
reason the numbers sounded familiar.
“What’s the
situation?”
“A little
red ship carrying an enormous garbage barge is stalled there. What should the protocol be?”
“Destroy
it,” the General said.
“Sir?”
“Wait…did
you say a red ship?”
“Yes sir.”
“We have no
red ships in the fleet. Is it ours?”
“Yes
sir. It belongs to a Junk Trader by the
name of Nicholas. His distress message
says that he has gifts for all the children of the Fleet and his message also
says ‘Merry Christmas.’”
“Merry
What-mas?”
“Christmas
sir. What is the protocol?”
“Destroy
it.”
“Sir?”
“Just
kidding. I think I heard about this Junk
Trader. Send a fifty ship squadron to
assist.”
“Yes sir.”
***
About
twenty minutes later Nicholas was busy checking his ship’s scopes when he saw a
large squadron of fighter ships suddenly arrive.
“Goodbye
world,” Nicholas said.
As he said
this his radio beeped.
“Junk
Trader Nicholas, please prepare for boarding.
We are here by command of the General to assist in delivering the
packages to all the children of the fleet.”
Nicholas
wiped his brow and smiled.
***
At about
five in the morning the General’s assistant approached the stern General with a
package.
“What’s
this?” the General asked.
“It’s a
gift from the Junk Trader Nicholas.”
The General
took the package and opened it. When he
saw what it was, that soft part of him that only a few people knew about grew
even larger, and he smiled.
It was a
blue toy car and…a bible. The bible was
in pristine condition.
“Merry
Christmas,” he said to his assistant and he smiled again.
His
assistant looked at him perplexed and said, “Merry What-mas?”
“Christmas
my friend,” the General said. “Merry
Christmas!”
The End
This story is awesome! Junkman gone Santa - love it. Thanks for sharing!
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